His whole life he has waited for someone, or something to tell him he was not worthless. Not just orphan trash lost and forgotten to the world, kicked around and beaten down into feeling worthless and insurmountable. That he could be something more then he was taught to think he was, and led to feel that he could be. Behind every strong, calm, or kind exterior is usually a sad, hurt individual feeling more grief and anguish then anyone could understand that wasn't also going through something similar. Most like him learned early on in life that it was not going to be great or worth living every day, but that you must trudge on ever further just to prove it all wrong, that your survival, your life, your experiences were meaningful! You would not be marginalized, you matter. Life was precious and so are you regardless of your standing or origins, you deserve to be happy and live life to its fullest! However, most would find this to be a wistful lie meant to spurn you on in the mediocrity of life.
Kannagi's touch, and gentle words had begun to melt away some of his barriers that had kept him even and able to have a modicum of enjoyment all of these years as a masquerade for his inner well of sadness and despair. He had spent so long blaming himself for everything that has gone wrong in his life, that he never once stopped to think that he could be forgiven for any of it, least of all self forgiveness! He had harmed others, and the one place that had ever shown him anything resembling love and care. He was scum and a betrayer and nothing could ever change that. But Kannagi seemed to think that wasn't true, that he needed to seek personal redemption if he truly wanted to be whole and master himself, to be able to be the man he has always wanted to be. Was that really possible though? Self doubt bubbled to the surface as he contemplated everything she was saying to him.
Was it that simple though? Could he just try and forgive himself and move past everything that had ever happened? All the years of self doubt and suffering he had put himself through as some sort of misguided mental self flagellation repentance. Maybe if only he tried to start forgiving himself he could change the tide of his emotional wounds. Maybe it was possible... But it would take time and effort, however having Kannagi here made him feel like maybe it was worth that. She made him feel a lot more then that, but he feared that was asking to much of her and himself to even give those thoughts the light of day. This was enough for now... This was more then enough.
After hearing her out and looking down into her eyes one last time a truly soft, unplanned smile graced his lips as a single tear streaked down his face from his left eye. A look of hope almost forming on him as his demeanor changed from self pity and doubt to something like confidence maybe? He finally spoke with a kind and calm tone, "Kannagi... You are so kind. We were strangers all but mere hours ago and now... I feel as if I have been missing this my entire life. Where did you learn to be such a well of kindness and selflessness? Whenever you need me I will be there I promise that. What you have done for me tonight is more then you will ever know. I feel as if I might be able to finally take the first step in a journey towards truly finding myself... I hope that you might join me on this untraveled road?", he bowed to her with a typical martial bow, his left hand in a fist with his right hand resting on it in a straight plane placed in front of him.
As he rose he recited what she had said, "It will be worth all the horses in the world... as nothing is more valuable then the freedom to be anywhere your heart takes you maybe?....", his face seemed serene and at peace for maybe the first time in his life. He still felt the vast ocean of pain that beat against the shores of his heart with unbridled rage, but for know, it was quieted if only a little, "Kannagi I truly am glad I met you on this night. It could have been anyone and fate saw to it that you were here... I will never forget what you have started for me today. Together we will be unstoppable in no time I think. Everyone will know that the Sun's Crimson Lion and.... Paper Valkyrie are great and respectable ninja worth their own weight in this world.".
Last edited by Genkumaru on Thu May 14, 2020 11:16 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Colors!)